Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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