Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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