I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
