If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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