gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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