i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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