There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
