I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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