Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
