I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
