even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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