it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
