So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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