It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
