I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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