I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
