i need an iv and a liver transplant
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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