In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
