His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
