I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
