my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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