She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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