so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i think i have herpe
just one?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
