get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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