He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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