Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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