Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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