i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
