i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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