yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
