I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize