I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
