found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Randomize
