the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
