omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
