I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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