You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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