I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Randomize
