PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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