wake up i wanna do it froggy style
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
