Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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