Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
