So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
