sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
