So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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