went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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