Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
