i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
