so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize