im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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