So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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