You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
