Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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