Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Randomize
