I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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