dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish i was in the wii world.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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