Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize