3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
