Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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