i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
