went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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