Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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