look no pants
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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