Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
