Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sponge bath it is.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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