I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
