I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
