Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
