just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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