I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
