let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
