AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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