I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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