I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
