His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize