Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
