That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
