At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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