Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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